For all its faults this is still a beautiful world

Today I read something really, really sad. According to a press report, a man fell to his death from a building. That in itself is a dreadful piece of news but  the article went on to say that, as police were trying to talk this poor man down, onlookers were shouting for him to jump. These people didn't even know the man, they had no idea about what had driven him to such a desperate position, they didn't care, they just watched with no empathy whatsoever and shouted such hateful things. How on earth did society fall so low?

I don't watch much television, and avoid reality programmes like Big Brother, and I'm a Celebrity totally. Soap operas seem to be full of hate, trauma and infidelity. I once asked a friend if there were any happily married couples who had a good life in any of them and was told "Don't be silly, that doesn't make good telly!" But why not? Why is people being happy, kind and understanding poor television? And if this is all people see as they grow up is it any wonder that they can become emotionless and detatched and have no feeling for a fellow human in need?

When I was growing up, my Dad would not even allow me the luxury of sulking, he would kneel down to my level and tell me "You can stop that young lady, you will smile at people. Some of them have dreadful lives and your smile may be the best thing to happen to them all day" I didn't dare sulk in front of Dad, poor Mum got that. But do you know something, my Dad was right. I have had many a bad day turned around by a friendly smile or a kind word. My parents always told me to try to see things from others' points of view and not to judge when you have no idea about people's lives.

In my lifetime I have seen terribly sad things happen but I have also seen wonderful things and true acts of love, some of them major things, some small ones that still have an impact on people's lives.

The day we moved into our Avenue one of our neighbours popped over to introduce themselves and to ask if we had unpacked the kettle or would like a tray of tea and biscuits bringing over, another brought a potted plant and we were left a nice bottle of wine. None of them overstayed their welcome but all made us feel truly at home within a few hours. All these people have become friends through sheer niceness. In our avenue everyone looks after everyone else, that is as it should be. Nobody is nosey or oversteps their place but they are supportive and are there at a moment's notice if needed. When you move here you become part of a caring community. That is what the whole world needs. People who care.

Over recent years we have had family losses that have broken our hearts, our neighbours have supported us and helped us through difficult times, some have had similar experiences and were able to empathise and guide us, those who hadn't, brought flowers and kind thoughts. My children have had support from their friends who are also very young. It is a wonderful feeling seeing human nature at its best and knowing that here cannot be the only place in the world with such compassion.

Indeed it is not. A few days ago I read about an elderly lady who makes a beautiful dress every day, adding an individual touch to each one to be sent out to the poorest children in the world, another act of pure love. Yesterday on Twitter I read a thank you from a Mummy to another mother who had donated her child's organs to keep her child alive. The world is full of these amazing, loving people.

Every act of kindness, no matter how small has a ripple effect, whether it is a smile, a kind word, taking time to help a neighbour, friend or stranger, all change the world for the better and I for one think that is a pretty amazing thing to do.

My Mum used to have a saying "Don't let the world drag you down" She was right. Sometimes we watch television dramas or news articles and believe this world to be a horrible place. Maybe it is, but it is also a truly wonderful place, full of good, kind people who make a difference and ensure that this is a world in which I wish to live and one in which I am happy to raise my children. So next time you find yourself telling somebody about an awful thing that has happened in the world, remember that there are also some pretty fantastic things happening out there, being performed by ordinary people who care a hell of a lot and, let's face it, are real superheroes.

Spring, new hopes, new beginnings, new you!

When winter came my mother used to shut down. She hated winter, She would be in bed before 9 pm, (when she was a child she would go up and settle at 5 to escape the dark nights and sleep right through). She said it felt like the world was dead and it made her sad. I could never understand this. I loved every season, autumn being my favourite of all, such rich colours and abundance of fruits. I loved crisp winter walks. Mum said it was too cold, too dark and there wasn't any colour to lift your moods through the gloomy, drizzly days. She would begin to come alive as spring arrived. I suppose in this day and age you would say that she suffered from S.A.D. - my mum just said that she was designed to hibernate like bears, /To be honest, she practically did!

As I have grown older, and particularly these last few years, I have become more like my mother. Little by little I have lost enthusiasm for my beloved autumn, it now seems sad, almost as though the year has grown old and is dying. Far too many people have died on me these last few years and autumn now seems to remind me of that. Last autumn I could still admire the beauty but I just felt sad. Even Christmas, which I still used to get excited about, has finally lost its sparkle.

The above may sound sad but I don't think that it is. I think that I have finally grown up and moved on to a new phase of my life. Maybe autumn was the season of my youth and spring is to be the season of my adulthood.

As spring has approached this year I have started to feel so much perkier and more positive. The plans I have. So much to do, so many new experiences to try. I have stopped dwelling on the past for the first time in god knows how long. Everything I think is about the future. My daughter told me the other day that I seem happy and confident these days. I do actually feel it. Talking through things with someone has made me realise that I have always tried to fit other people's view of who I should be and felt guilt about letting people down when it was no fault of my own. I am viewing myself and the world through a whole new window - and I like it. I have the courage to say no without explaining myself to people and I have the confidence to say yes when I want to as well. It is tremendously freeing. But oh how much time I have wasted just not being me. I would recommend everybody tries being themselves sometimes. It is truly wonderful. And, surprisingly, people like it too. One of my friends actually told me the other day that I have changed so much in recent years, becoming so much more confident and independent. She says she loves it!

And, as this spring approaches I am beginning to feel excited about all the new possibilities and, like the bluetit above, am making future plans and that future is so bright. My husband and children are the focus of my life but, I now also have a little bit of time to explore being Janet and that is oh so much freedom. My husband is probably already beginning to panic at the possibilities but I am just very excited. Who knows where my dreams will take me? Spring is a time for new beginnings and this year I intend to make the most of it!