Swimming has always come naturally to our family. No wait a minute, swimming has never come naturally to our family. My mother, to the day she died, never learned to swim. It wasn't her fault. She attended swimming lessons with her school. She went every single week. But she also felt the cold more than most. She would get into the pool and the instructor would give out instructions to the class. By this time my mother would have turned blue and would be ordered out of the pool. This was the case week after week and so my mother left school never having learned to swim.
Over the years she developed a, I suppose in her case healthy, fear of water. Every year we would travel to the Isle of Man for our summer holidays and while my older brother and sister were diving from the floating board and swimming for England, I was to paddle to my mid calves and go no further. You should never get out of your depth Janet or the tide might carry you away!
Then one summer my Dad decided that it was time that I learned to swim and we all trundled to the swimming baths, Mum watching from the spectators' area. Dad had been explaining to me about water giving you buoyancy and how I would always float as he gradually, without my realising, took his hands away from me and I was floating unaided, at the age of five! By 1984 I would have been ready for Olympic gold! Well I was floating until, from the spectators seats my Mother's voice screamed "Oh my God he's let her go!" Then I realised that he had too and plummeted like a stone! From this point my mother regarded my dad as an unsafe swimming instructor and that was it for swimming until I was ten and had school lessons.
School lessons, unfortunately, did not go to plan either. Remember I was a child scared of water, I mean with a healthy respect for water. Well week one I climbed into the learner pool (4ft deep) full of enthusiasm. The instructor, a man who thought he was teaching Mark Spitz, marched across and said "Right, all put your heads under the water" I looked in horror. Surely this madman could not mean me? I would most definitely drown! I ignored him and stood shaking in the water. It was obviously a test to work out who the fools were. The madman, not being one to suffer wimps, then put his hand on my head and pushed me under! After considerable coughing and spluttering I retreated to the middle of the pool, where the madman could not reach me and burst into tears. We were then divided. The good swimmers were taken to the main pool with the madman - who my friends assured me was perfectly sane and an excellent swimming teacher who they all adored. Us duffers remained in the learner pool with the lovely Mrs Mott who was so good she taught me to swim within four weeks. I realised, however, that if you could swim a length you were moved up to the big pool with the scary man who tried to drown me (okay he didn't actually try to drown me, but I was ten and I saw things differently then) so as Mrs Mott said surprisingly I could swim seven widths straight off but could never quite make a length without having to stop halfway. I didn't manage one until the very last lesson, so I never made it up to the main pool. Surprising that.
I rarely swam again until a friend at school decided we should get fit together and off we went, gradually building up to twenty lengths quite quickly. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. We went a few times every week and I became a good swimmer. Er well sort of.
We ensured our children learned to swim and I actually taught our youngest myself. Now that is how I found out that I was not the fantastic swimmer I thought. An instructor was in the pool one day and decided to help my son improve his strokes. As he corrected every fault I realised that I had taught my son every one of them. Quite an achievement. I bet none of you could teach as many bad strokes as I managed. Mind you it is difficult to swim perfectly whilst holding your head clear of the water.
After my disastrous attempt at running, and the various injuries I've had over recent months, I have decided to recommence my swimming career. Next week I shall be back to the pool , I may dip my head in the water as far as my chin and build up those lengths and my perfect strokes. So if there are any talent scouts out there looking for a future Olympic swimmer I should be ready by about 2054!
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